O.K. soooo…my husband sent a challenge my way the other day. “Could you go and live on the north side?” I felt my heart drop to the ground. The north side in our city is known for gangs, drug addicts, crazy “families” and a hodge podge of everything else. My immediate reaction was “No Way.” As I drove to pick up my daughter, I was still thinking about this concept. Could I go and live where the “ugly” of society lives in order to bring them Jesus? For some reason a picture of my dining room popped in my head. Along the large main wall we have this huge world map hanging. I have always wanted to put a sign above the map that says, “For God so loved the world…” As I began to think about this I had this sudden realization. Jesus left his beautiful home where there was perfection and chose to come and live on this earth as a man in the most humble circumstances, even choosing to be born in a barn, so that he could reach the “ugly” of society (you and me). He entered a world of ugliness and brokenness to live among us to show us how much He loved us. I was in this dilemma. Could I leave my beautiful home in a great part of town, where I feel safe and secure and live among those who have never really heard about the true Jesus? To say yes, brought fear to my heart but to say no made me feel dead. As I came back home, I fell into quiet reflection and prayer and I knew that my only answer could be this, “Lord, if you want me to go there, I will.”
To be honest, after I said that prayer I felt like I was at a crossroads of whether I could really trust God or not. It reminded me of the story of Abraham being told to sacrifice his only son, Isaac. I can only imagine that with each step he took that the pit in his stomach must have grown bigger. To say I trust God is one thing but to live it is something different. As Abraham lifted his knife to take the life of his only son, the son that was promised by God to start a whole nation, it was then that God intervened and sent a substitute. Abraham passed the test.
For me, I don’t know where this leaves me. We are still in earnest prayer to see what God is asking of us. He may ask us to go. He may say stay. Whatever happens in the future I really have only one option and that is to trust in my living God with my entire being and know that His ways are good, righteous and perfect.
Easier said than done 🙂
